Moonlight dancing on the shaven head

Beard was solemnly standing guard as he usually did on nights when others where out partying. He didn’t mind it much because he had grown accustomed to being alone most of the time he spent awake in this world. At least this way he was killing two birds with one stone. Putting his ugly mug to some profitable use while killing time in-between bouts of loneliness was in his mind a solid way of at least attempting not to go totally haywire.

Beard had learned a long time ago that his was not the place among the happy and cheerful crowds trying to find someone to spend his life with. Mother nature had made sure of that as soon as he got out of the womb. Well, supposedly there had been a short period of uncertainty in that regard due to the widely held belief that babies are cute and loveable, but that all came to and end once people realised that what was once a cute and loveable “baby boy” was turning into something grossly out of standard shape and size common in their neck of the woods.

Over the years Beard had grown to disregards majority of the comments, remarks and gestures directed at his bulky figure or apish looks. Truth be told, he had grown to like the pain they caused and learned to enjoy it without developing a need to inflict it upon himself in order to keep the high. There was always plenty of those who would help the ugly out.

Every now and then he would stumble upon an “expert” in human psyche who after downing couple of jugs of cold one and chasing them down with some shot or another would reach the pseudo-freudian conclusion that the underlying reason for him becoming a bouncer was in his inner wish to kill all the men that had ever insulted him and have sex with all the chicks that had done the same or had simply idly watched as he was being humiliated and denigrated for amusement of the huddled masses.

Beard would have been lying if he tried to deny all of that “nightlife shrink-talk”. He had a deep-seated hate and resentment for bullies, but he didn’t believe himself capable of taking their lives simply for that reason. Hurting them sure. But not killing. As to the feelings of sexual nature towards the herd of chicks who had over the years witnessed his mechanical sail in the waves of social sewer he did not possess any strong sexual desire towards them specifically. Neither would he have minded the attention of course, but he was acutely aware from a very early stages of his puberty that he and women was not going to be a very happening thing. They were either scared or far too repulsed by him to even give him a chance. Then again, ever since reading about the “Beauty and the Beast” and “Hunchback of the Notre Dame” he had secretly hoped, as kids do, that maybe one day it will change. But only thing that changed were his expectations once the steel booth of reality knocked him straight in the kisser.

Beard had learned to utilize his looks for his own benefit. Crooked nose and scarred face alongside the overall resemblance of an ape gone astray did miracles when it came to finding employment as a bouncer. Beard new that on a good day he could pull off a role in a horror movie without any need for extra makeup. Add in the mix the shaved scalp and overall hairiness of his limbs and one could easily lock him up in a cage and make good money by passing him off as a darwinian nightmare in the flesh. But that would presume that they got him into the cage in the first place.

On the nights he was working, he would usually kill time in-between the rowdy punters by grinning at his reflection in the frost covered window of the shop opposite the door he was working. Seeing the moonlight dance and reflect off his bald head made him smile inside. “Not even you want to spend too much time touching me do you?” would be the silent thought going through his mind. “No worries! I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me either, but ending it all would be an easy way out. So I guess I’ll stick around for another night or so and see what else comes to mind. After all it’s not like I’m in a hurry or missed somewhere …”